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I thought long and hard about making this post. I’m pro-life; I know most of my friends aren’t. I’ve seen lots of hostility aimed at pro-life people, and I’m not very vocal about being pro-life. In other words, I’m a coward.
My executive summary, for those deciding whether to read more: pro-life means actively supporting alternatives to abortion, helping girls and women prevent unwanted pregnancy and live with surprise pregnancies. Pro-life also means opposing the death penalty and killing in general (yes, including wars). Pro-life means opposing euthanasia and assisted suicide and giving real support and alternatives to suffering people and their care-givers.
I won’t block comments, but I do ask that you read the whole post before commenting. (You might even want to read the next one, because I wrote too much for one!)
I know my friends here include at least one atheist, one agnostic, one pro-choice Catholic, more than one person raised Catholic but no longer identifying as such. I know I have a few pro-life readers—because I told my family about my blog!
I’m writing to convince those of you who are not related to me that pro-lifers are not idiots, and that in fact some of us are not anti-woman, anti-choice (unless you define "choice" really narrowly), or anti-Democrats. I write not to argue, but to open a discussion, and maybe some eyes. I probably won’t make any of you pro-life, and I’m not blocking comments, but seriously, you won’t make me "pro-choice" (I put the term in quotes because I resent people telling me I’m "anti-choice"; I believe men and women have lots of choices, but once a baby is conceived, the range of choices should narrow).
I think of the grad school prof who was shocked I was pro-life because I’m a "sensible person." I think of all the "pro-life" stickers I’ve seen sharing bumper space with "Bush/Cheney" stickers and how sick that makes me feel (as human services and human rights are cut, as the war drags on...). I am, by the way, a registered Democrat who has voted for particular Republicans on occasion; I used to think of myself as an Independent.
Abortion
Most people think pro-life is all about being anti-abortion, so I’ll start here. I am anti-abortion and hope abortion will ultimately end. I do support certain legal restrictions on abortion (though I can’t point to a single law—bills written now are sloppy and made to score points, not to do good). I think making abortion illegal now would be disastrous, and not a pro-life thing to do: women and babies would continue to die, and it would be all too easy to continue not trying to solve problems that have made abortion so common in the first place.
I believe a fetus is a baby, a person. I’m Catholic, but not a minion (or parrot) of the pope. I think abortion kills a human being, and I don’t think that’s good for the mother. I’m not talking about the very dubious link between abortion and breast cancer. While some women die having abortions—I think too many—too many women die in childbirth too. I think abortion is violence, and bad for everyone.
I know pregnancy is hard. I had a healthy pregnancy, a wanted pregnancy in a happy marriage, and I hated being pregnant; I often felt depressed and anxious. I can only imagine how hard pregnancy must be on women with medical problems, little or no family support, and even pressure not to be pregnant.
But I don’t think abortion is a good solution, any more than I think it would be to terminate the baby’s life right after he or she is born. If I’m hurting feelings, I’m sorry; it’s possible some of you may have had abortions. I do not write to accuse you.
I write to say that it’s ridiculous we don’t have more help for the many women who would carry a pregnancy to term with help, and that truly being pro-life means giving that help. I volunteered at one crisis pregnancy center, served on another’s board, and continue to support another financially. No, these are not places who trick women into watching Silent Scream or pretend to be abortion providers. Good CPCs counsel the mother, because the baby isn’t the client; they offer girls and women a friendly ear and guidance about avoiding pregnancy if this pregnancy scare is false, or later, after this pregnancy (whether the woman has the child or not). Good CPCs help a lot of women and children.
Pro-life means that I want schools and employers to have family-friendly policies. I think that New York Catholic school that fired the unmarried pregnant teacher was dead wrong (sorry, don’t have a link; if you do, please let me know!). I think the Family and Medical Leave Act is crucial—and should be furthered. The US needs good, affordable child care; good maternity and paternity leave; and options for pregnant girls and women to continue their education and work.
I have been a member of Feminists for Life for a number of years now, and they have been pushing for legislative action on all these issues. (A group I will not name says that FFL did not support FMLA; that is false. FFL actively pushed for FMLA for years before it passed. They also take strong stands against sexual abuse, rape, and discrimination. FFL has been much slandered; check out their website for the truth.) We need more legal protections for girls and women who are abused and raped. As a society, we need to protect mothers, fathers, and children.
That’s why I’m a Democrat. I was an independent for years, and I still don’t vote party-line, but I watched Republicans cut support for mothers with children and other kinds of welfare. I saw Republicans in Indiana institute harsh penalities for those on welfare who had another child. A so-called pro-lifer answered my accusation that the penalties would cause more abortions with, “That’s on the mother’s conscience, not mine.” That’s bull. If through family or governmental pressure we push women to have abortions they otherwise wouldn’t, we as a society have failed them, and that’s not pro-life.
We need sensible adoption policies, so that couples don’t have to go abroad or go through expensive, often painful treatments to have children. People pay thousands of dollars to try to conceive, and many fail in the end, while some women are aborting babies because they don’t want to bring an unloved child into the world.
Good policies won’t eliminate every reason for an abortion, but I believe they will make a huge difference.
I know I’m not going to persuade people to be pro-life like me—but I hope I can urge some pro-choice and pro-life cooperation on certain issues: good prenatal and post-natal support for mothers; options for mothers that allow them to continue their work, their schooling—their lives; a system of adoption that encourages women with unwanted pregnancies to give babies to loving homes (we have a lot of loving homes in this country just looking for babies!); and a culture that doesn’t penalize women for being mothers, that doesn’t look down on single moms (and sometimes dads), who must have great strength, courage, and support to succeed, and that values life.
This post is huge. Part II will cover other pro-life issues.
My executive summary, for those deciding whether to read more: pro-life means actively supporting alternatives to abortion, helping girls and women prevent unwanted pregnancy and live with surprise pregnancies. Pro-life also means opposing the death penalty and killing in general (yes, including wars). Pro-life means opposing euthanasia and assisted suicide and giving real support and alternatives to suffering people and their care-givers.
I won’t block comments, but I do ask that you read the whole post before commenting. (You might even want to read the next one, because I wrote too much for one!)
I know my friends here include at least one atheist, one agnostic, one pro-choice Catholic, more than one person raised Catholic but no longer identifying as such. I know I have a few pro-life readers—because I told my family about my blog!
I’m writing to convince those of you who are not related to me that pro-lifers are not idiots, and that in fact some of us are not anti-woman, anti-choice (unless you define "choice" really narrowly), or anti-Democrats. I write not to argue, but to open a discussion, and maybe some eyes. I probably won’t make any of you pro-life, and I’m not blocking comments, but seriously, you won’t make me "pro-choice" (I put the term in quotes because I resent people telling me I’m "anti-choice"; I believe men and women have lots of choices, but once a baby is conceived, the range of choices should narrow).
I think of the grad school prof who was shocked I was pro-life because I’m a "sensible person." I think of all the "pro-life" stickers I’ve seen sharing bumper space with "Bush/Cheney" stickers and how sick that makes me feel (as human services and human rights are cut, as the war drags on...). I am, by the way, a registered Democrat who has voted for particular Republicans on occasion; I used to think of myself as an Independent.
Abortion
Most people think pro-life is all about being anti-abortion, so I’ll start here. I am anti-abortion and hope abortion will ultimately end. I do support certain legal restrictions on abortion (though I can’t point to a single law—bills written now are sloppy and made to score points, not to do good). I think making abortion illegal now would be disastrous, and not a pro-life thing to do: women and babies would continue to die, and it would be all too easy to continue not trying to solve problems that have made abortion so common in the first place.
I believe a fetus is a baby, a person. I’m Catholic, but not a minion (or parrot) of the pope. I think abortion kills a human being, and I don’t think that’s good for the mother. I’m not talking about the very dubious link between abortion and breast cancer. While some women die having abortions—I think too many—too many women die in childbirth too. I think abortion is violence, and bad for everyone.
I know pregnancy is hard. I had a healthy pregnancy, a wanted pregnancy in a happy marriage, and I hated being pregnant; I often felt depressed and anxious. I can only imagine how hard pregnancy must be on women with medical problems, little or no family support, and even pressure not to be pregnant.
But I don’t think abortion is a good solution, any more than I think it would be to terminate the baby’s life right after he or she is born. If I’m hurting feelings, I’m sorry; it’s possible some of you may have had abortions. I do not write to accuse you.
I write to say that it’s ridiculous we don’t have more help for the many women who would carry a pregnancy to term with help, and that truly being pro-life means giving that help. I volunteered at one crisis pregnancy center, served on another’s board, and continue to support another financially. No, these are not places who trick women into watching Silent Scream or pretend to be abortion providers. Good CPCs counsel the mother, because the baby isn’t the client; they offer girls and women a friendly ear and guidance about avoiding pregnancy if this pregnancy scare is false, or later, after this pregnancy (whether the woman has the child or not). Good CPCs help a lot of women and children.
Pro-life means that I want schools and employers to have family-friendly policies. I think that New York Catholic school that fired the unmarried pregnant teacher was dead wrong (sorry, don’t have a link; if you do, please let me know!). I think the Family and Medical Leave Act is crucial—and should be furthered. The US needs good, affordable child care; good maternity and paternity leave; and options for pregnant girls and women to continue their education and work.
I have been a member of Feminists for Life for a number of years now, and they have been pushing for legislative action on all these issues. (A group I will not name says that FFL did not support FMLA; that is false. FFL actively pushed for FMLA for years before it passed. They also take strong stands against sexual abuse, rape, and discrimination. FFL has been much slandered; check out their website for the truth.) We need more legal protections for girls and women who are abused and raped. As a society, we need to protect mothers, fathers, and children.
That’s why I’m a Democrat. I was an independent for years, and I still don’t vote party-line, but I watched Republicans cut support for mothers with children and other kinds of welfare. I saw Republicans in Indiana institute harsh penalities for those on welfare who had another child. A so-called pro-lifer answered my accusation that the penalties would cause more abortions with, “That’s on the mother’s conscience, not mine.” That’s bull. If through family or governmental pressure we push women to have abortions they otherwise wouldn’t, we as a society have failed them, and that’s not pro-life.
We need sensible adoption policies, so that couples don’t have to go abroad or go through expensive, often painful treatments to have children. People pay thousands of dollars to try to conceive, and many fail in the end, while some women are aborting babies because they don’t want to bring an unloved child into the world.
Good policies won’t eliminate every reason for an abortion, but I believe they will make a huge difference.
I know I’m not going to persuade people to be pro-life like me—but I hope I can urge some pro-choice and pro-life cooperation on certain issues: good prenatal and post-natal support for mothers; options for mothers that allow them to continue their work, their schooling—their lives; a system of adoption that encourages women with unwanted pregnancies to give babies to loving homes (we have a lot of loving homes in this country just looking for babies!); and a culture that doesn’t penalize women for being mothers, that doesn’t look down on single moms (and sometimes dads), who must have great strength, courage, and support to succeed, and that values life.
This post is huge. Part II will cover other pro-life issues.