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Everyone's doing these cool, fun posts about who would be their Top 10 Fictional Boyfriends. They have pictures. Mine doesn't. My post is less Top 10 Fictional Boyfriends than The Men I Love to Watch on TV and Why I Would Never Date Them:
Yeah, I've fudged a bit. I have to leave off Carson Beckett and Julian Bashir, because, dang it, they might actually make good boyfriends! (Have to ask Laura Cadman why she and Carson broke up.) I thought Wash from Firefly might be a good one, too, but Brilliant Husband said, "I think he'd be a better husband than a boyfriend." I bow to BH's superior knowledge in such matters. :-)
In order of unsuitability:
10. Daniel Jackson. It's not his fault, really, that every woman he loves gets snaked. Vala has the advantage of already having been snaked. I have too strong a sense of self-preservation ever to go out with this man.
9. Rodney McKay. He's unsuitable because I have little doubt I'd end up doing him physical harm eventually. I'm very surprised Katie Brown didn't. I'd say it would be fun up until that point, but it probably wouldn't.
8. Benton Fraser (Due South). He's very sweet, but he has serious emotional problems, such as a willingness to ruin his best friend to run off with a woman who framed him for murder (not that I'd ever put him in such a position), and a tendency to talk his problems through with his father--his dead father.
7. John Sheridan (Babylon 5). He seems like a great boyfriend, and he's surely the marrying kind. A bit too much the marrying kind, if you know what I mean. If you don't, you haven't seen enough of the show.
6. Ianto Jones (Torchwood): what is it with me and guys with emotional problems? A devoted boyfriend sounds like a good thing, up until the point where he's keeping you alive, hidden in the vaults, while you're not really human anymore--and getting farther and farther from being human. That's not so good.
5. The Doctor (Doctor Who). Do I need to say why? You live with the guy for years, and then he dumps you somewhere, says it's South Croydon (it's not), takes off for Gallifrey--and never comes back. You run into him six regenerations later, purely by chance. Hopeless--but my all-time favorite. He only make the middle of the list because he's only middling in the unsuitability ranking. Oh, yes: it gets worse.
4. Jack Harkness (Doctor Who and Torchwood). If I'm making a list of ten non-boyfriends, do I get to complain that one would never be faithful? Of course I do! Jack's the hottest one on my list. He's the hottest man on tv. But who wants a boyfriend who gets it on with everyone, including other species?
Brilliant Husband said, as I was discussing my attraction to unsuitable men, "What about Harry Dresden?" What? I wasn't watching the show for Harry! I was watching for my number three:
3. Bob! (Dresden Files, tv; I haven't read the novels but understand he's quite different there and even less suitable). He's sometimes a sexist pig, he used a lot of black magic in his day, but I think the main obstacle is that he's dead.
2. Kerr Avon (Blake's 7). He's a sociopath. You'd think that'd make him #1, wouldn't you? But you'd be wrong.
Drumroll, please, for the #1:
And the #1 Fictional Man I Love to Watch But Would Never Date is... Galen, from the short-lived Planet of the Apes tv series! He's got it all: a wonderful voice, an open scientific mind, generosity, sympathy...but...he's a chimpanzee.
Dang, can I choose them, or what?
Yeah, I've fudged a bit. I have to leave off Carson Beckett and Julian Bashir, because, dang it, they might actually make good boyfriends! (Have to ask Laura Cadman why she and Carson broke up.) I thought Wash from Firefly might be a good one, too, but Brilliant Husband said, "I think he'd be a better husband than a boyfriend." I bow to BH's superior knowledge in such matters. :-)
In order of unsuitability:
10. Daniel Jackson. It's not his fault, really, that every woman he loves gets snaked. Vala has the advantage of already having been snaked. I have too strong a sense of self-preservation ever to go out with this man.
9. Rodney McKay. He's unsuitable because I have little doubt I'd end up doing him physical harm eventually. I'm very surprised Katie Brown didn't. I'd say it would be fun up until that point, but it probably wouldn't.
8. Benton Fraser (Due South). He's very sweet, but he has serious emotional problems, such as a willingness to ruin his best friend to run off with a woman who framed him for murder (not that I'd ever put him in such a position), and a tendency to talk his problems through with his father--his dead father.
7. John Sheridan (Babylon 5). He seems like a great boyfriend, and he's surely the marrying kind. A bit too much the marrying kind, if you know what I mean. If you don't, you haven't seen enough of the show.
6. Ianto Jones (Torchwood): what is it with me and guys with emotional problems? A devoted boyfriend sounds like a good thing, up until the point where he's keeping you alive, hidden in the vaults, while you're not really human anymore--and getting farther and farther from being human. That's not so good.
5. The Doctor (Doctor Who). Do I need to say why? You live with the guy for years, and then he dumps you somewhere, says it's South Croydon (it's not), takes off for Gallifrey--and never comes back. You run into him six regenerations later, purely by chance. Hopeless--but my all-time favorite. He only make the middle of the list because he's only middling in the unsuitability ranking. Oh, yes: it gets worse.
4. Jack Harkness (Doctor Who and Torchwood). If I'm making a list of ten non-boyfriends, do I get to complain that one would never be faithful? Of course I do! Jack's the hottest one on my list. He's the hottest man on tv. But who wants a boyfriend who gets it on with everyone, including other species?
Brilliant Husband said, as I was discussing my attraction to unsuitable men, "What about Harry Dresden?" What? I wasn't watching the show for Harry! I was watching for my number three:
3. Bob! (Dresden Files, tv; I haven't read the novels but understand he's quite different there and even less suitable). He's sometimes a sexist pig, he used a lot of black magic in his day, but I think the main obstacle is that he's dead.
2. Kerr Avon (Blake's 7). He's a sociopath. You'd think that'd make him #1, wouldn't you? But you'd be wrong.
Drumroll, please, for the #1:
And the #1 Fictional Man I Love to Watch But Would Never Date is... Galen, from the short-lived Planet of the Apes tv series! He's got it all: a wonderful voice, an open scientific mind, generosity, sympathy...but...he's a chimpanzee.
Dang, can I choose them, or what?
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But Benton - he'd be lovely! It's not his fault his dead dad keeps turning up! He has a wolf. He'd bring you corsages. I'm firmly of the belief he shouldn't be on this list. ;)
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When you come right down to it, of course, I've got the one for me. How many other fangirls--or women period, or people--are lucky enough to have a spouse/lover/friend who will happily indulge in the same fandoms (with the sole exception of Dresden Files, which he didn't generally watch, but I didn't get really into that fandom), love the same characters, and even cheerfully discuss which men would and wouldn't make good boyfriends? He hasn't seen the complete list yet. Avon was going to be my #1, but I'd just been discussing Planet of the Apes with someone, and I realized I had a better one!
Though, honestly, if forced at gunpoint to date either Avon or Galen, I'm going with the chimp.
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That would make an excellently geeky and obscure T-shirt slogan. :D
I take your point about Benton. Some guys aren't necessarily bad dating material, but their friends / colleagues / girlfriends / passers-by just have the worst luck.
And, awwww, that's adorable - I'm glad your rl sweetie is much better than any of the guys on this list. :D
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*raises hand* Me!
We really did luck out, you and me. Our boys need to be cloned so that all our friends can have awesome fannish husbands, too.
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I will agree with Brilliant Husband that, for instance, Jeri Ryan is both drop dead gorgeous and an awesome actress, so I suppose it goes both ways sometimes. But I'm not into all the shows he watches; I gave up on Sarah Connor Chronicles early despite a great cast; can't watch Boston Legal or NCIS without all kinds of objections and complaints.
I hope our friends can all find great husbands too, but no one's cloning my BH--he's mine, mine, all mine!
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with the latest POTA movie, I'm actually shipping the astronaut with that intelligent lady chimp (just sweet words between them, nothing more), though that was just one or two fics total for the fandom.
yeah, Farscape fandom discusses things like that...ie, before the Big Reveal about Aeryn's people, fandom discussed whether John/Aeryn was any more legal than John/Zhaan.
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John and Aeryn never bothered me. Neither did Zhaan and Stark. Maybe because I grew up knowing that Amanda and Sarek were Spock's parents, I'm hard put to be bothered by interspecies relationships in SF (as long as they don't get too graphic, but shoot, I don't generally read graphic intraspecies sex!).
For some reason this post is one of my all-time favorites on my LJ.
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(I was talking with someone...Courser maybe? about it - how if you're a woman and your name is S and you like Daniel, you're snaked. The difference is that if you actually dated/sexed him you get Goa'ulded (Sarah, Sha're) (and if you took it as far as marriage, you die) whereas if you didn't get that far, it's just a Tok'ra (Sam) Which I guess means Vala will never marry Daniel? Only her name doesn't start with S....)
Oh, man, I'm pretty sure Rodney McKay would make the worst boyfriend ever. I would kill him so fast. And then his team would come after me for revenge and it would all go bad.
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*hugs*
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*Hugs*
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